You are here because you have a loved one who is under the influence of psychological manipulation (PM) and coercive control (CC). These are complicated issues, and it is difficult to identify and grapple with their effects. Seeing a loved one slip away is heartbreaking, and it is often hard to know what to do. This toolkit is designed to help you understand and navigate PM and CC and give you ways to reconnect with and support your loved one.
This toolkit can help you get to a place of deeper understanding with your loved one and make a plan to connect with them.
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This toolkit can help those with loved ones in cults, MLMs, high-control groups, hate and conspiracy groups, intimate partner controlling relationships and sex trafficking.
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Section Guide
Part I - PM and CC 101
Section 1 - Defining Psychological Manipulation and Coercive Control (PM and CC): Gain a basic understanding of PM and CC, how they operate, and why they’re challenging to detect within relationships and groups.
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Section 2 - Identifying Common Signs and Red Flags: Learn the key signs of manipulation to watch for in your loved one’s behaviour, environment, and relationships, helping you better understand what they may be experiencing.
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Section 3 - Understanding the Stages of Manipulative Influence: Familiarize yourself with the stages of involvement in manipulative situations, from initial interest to deeper entrenchment, to help you recognize where they might be.
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Section 4 - Motivations for Leaving: Insights into common reasons people choose to exit manipulative situations, and how to support your loved one’s journey toward empowerment and change.
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Part II - Understanding and Planning
Section 5 - Cultivating Empathy and Understanding Motivations: Discover the motivations that might have drawn your loved one into their current situation, and learn strategies for deepening empathy and understanding.
Section 6 - Setting Realistic Goals and Building a Support Plan: Develop a clear, compassionate plan for supporting your loved one, focusing on achievable goals that respect their autonomy and pace.
Section 7 - Self-Care and Boundaries for Supporters: Tips on maintaining your own well-being and setting healthy boundaries while supporting a loved one, ensuring you’re equipped to be there for them over time.
Part III - Communication and Connection
Section 8 - Creating Open, Compassionate Communication: Practical advice for approaching conversations with your loved one in ways that foster trust and reduce defensiveness, opening the door to meaningful connection.
Section 9 - Reconnection and Recovery Steps: Guidance on supporting your loved one through recovery if they’re exiting a manipulative situation, including ways to encourage resilience and self-empowerment.
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Additional Resources
Looking for more? Explore our other toolkits and guides to deepen your understanding of psychological manipulation & coercive control:
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Toolkit for Identifying & Countering Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
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Toolkit for Recovery from Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
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Toolkit for Helping Youth Under the Influence of Psychological Manipulation and Coercive Control
- Toolkit for Red Flags of Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
- Toolkit for Safe Seeking & Avoiding Manipulation
- Toolkit for Engaging Those Affected by Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
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