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Toolkit for Safe Seeking

We are all looking for something. A sense of community, connection and purpose is vital to our flourishing, but it can be hard to find. Approaching new groups or relationships can be challenging, especially given the threat of psychological manipulation (PM) and coercive control (CC). From hate groups to conspiracy, high-control groups to sex trafficking and intimate partner controlling relationships, the tactics of PM and CC permeate our social world and cause harm through various means. Damaging groups or manipulators are often hard to spot and frequently hide in plain sight. So it is up to us, as seekers, to prepare ourselves and develop skills and resilience to counter manipulation and stay safe as we explore new opportunities and connections.


This toolkit acts as a guide for finding safe pathways to healthy community, connection and purpose. This information can be used with our other toolkits to foster a deeper understanding of PM and CC and help work towards countering, prevention and recovery.

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Section Guide 

Section 1 - Defining and Differentiating PM and CC: Define and
differentiate psychological manipulation and coercive control.


Section 2 - Understanding Motivations: Gain insights into people’s
motivations to seek connection and purpose within manipulative


Section 3 - Steps to Safe Seeking: Explore five steps to safe
seeking - Look Into It, Develop Firm Boundaries, Feel it Out, Stay Vigilant and Get Out if Necessary.


Section 4 - Green Flags: Learn about the green flags for healthy
groups and relationships.


Section 5 - Conclusion: Concluding comments.

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