We are all looking for something. A sense of community, connection and purpose is vital to our flourishing, but it can be hard to find. Approaching new groups or relationships can be challenging, especially given the threat of psychological manipulation (PM) and coercive control (CC). From hate groups to conspiracy, cults to sex trafficking and intimate partner controlling relationships, the tactics of PM and CC permeate our social world and cause harm through various means. Damaging groups or manipulators are often hard to spot and frequently hide in plain sight. So it is up to us, as seekers, to prepare ourselves and develop skills and resilience to counter manipulation and stay safe as we explore new opportunities and connections.
This toolkit acts as a guide for finding safe pathways to healthy community, connection and purpose. This information can be used with our other toolkits to foster a deeper understanding of PM and CC and help work towards countering, prevention and recovery.
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Section Guide
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Part I: Foundations of Safe Seeking and Psychological Manipulation
Section 1: Defining Psychological Manipulation and Coercive Control: Discover how psychological manipulation (PM) and coercive control (CC) function in high-control groups and relationships, and learn why they can be especially challenging for young people seeking connection.
Section 2 - Understanding Motivations to Seek Connection and Purpose: Explore the natural human motivations for community and belonging and learn how manipulative environments exploit these desires to draw people in.
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Part II: Safe Seeking Strategies
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Section 3 - Five Steps to Safe Seeking:
Practical, easy-to-follow steps for safe exploration of new groups and relationships:
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Look Into It: Research new groups or connections thoroughly.
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Develop Firm Boundaries: Set personal boundaries and stick to them.
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Feel it Out: Trust your intuition and look out for any uncomfortable dynamics.
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Stay Vigilant: Be aware of red flags that may indicate manipulation.
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Get Out if Necessary: Know when to leave and how to exit safely.
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Section 4 - Green Flags for Healthy Groups and Relationships:
Learn about the positive indicators, or “green flags,” that signal a healthy, non-coercive group or relationship environment. These traits provide a strong foundation for safe, enriching connections.
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Part III: Building Resilience and Making Safe Connections
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Section 5 - Building Resilience Against Manipulation: Discover tools for building personal resilience and strength, helping you stay true to your values and maintain a healthy sense of self in any environment.
Conclusion - Moving Forward Safely and Confidently:
Closing insights on maintaining awareness, honouring your boundaries, and making safe, fulfilling connections as you explore new opportunities and relationships.
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Additional Resources
Looking for more? Explore our other toolkits and guides to deepen your understanding of psychological manipulation & coercive control:
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Toolkit for Identifying & Countering Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
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Toolkit for Recovery from Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
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Toolkit for Helping Loved Ones Affected by Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
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Toolkit for Youth Affected by Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
- Toolkit for Red Flags of Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
- Toolkit for Engaging Those Affected by Psychological Manipulation & Coercive Control
Need Support? Connect with us for peer support, advocacy, and education.​​