Sometimes the most important step is slowing down. Every relationship has a cost, but some are pricier than others. Manipulative groups and relationships offer a host of benefits—otherwise, why would we be drawn in?—but they also extract a heavy price. The question we have to ask ourselves when we are pulled into manipulative situations is whether the price is worth paying.  When I was drawn into a cult, I couldn’t see the costs; all I could imagine were the benefits. My earl

What kind of world are we teaching students to belong to? I recently wrote a piece for the Toronto Star  about calling teachers by their first names, in response to the announcement that some TDSB schools will put formal titles to the test . In the story, I describe my upbringing in Alternative Schools. These are quiet and often unknown places that allow creativity and deep connection to flourish. They are rarefied today, with many of them having transformed into other kinds

Huet's book paints a complex picture of OneTaste Empire of Orgasm: Sex, Power and the Downfall of a Wellness Cult by Ellen Huet is an exceptionally written and deeply researched account of what took place inside the high-control group OneTaste . Huet offers a careful and unflinching examination of the group, its leadership, and the people drawn into its orbit. What makes this book stand out is not just the reporting but also the way it maintains complexity throughout. No one

Moving gently through the holidays, with care for ourselves and each other For many families, the holidays are meant to bring people together. When manipulation or high control dynamics shape a family system, this season can feel especially fraught. Gatherings may feel tense. Conversations can turn quickly. You may find yourself bracing for conflict before anything has even been said. If you are staying connected to a loved one caught in a manipulative or controlling situatio

What is Lost? Community. Time. Wonder. All the things that connect us. People don’t join cults. They join movements. Friendships. Ideas....

When leaving feels impossible, understanding becomes essential. “Why don’t they just leave?” If you work in this space, you’ve heard it...

If AI becomes a sacred source of meaning, how do we offer a reality worth returning to? It is possible to have a cult of two or three. I...

Time doesn’t seem the same after loss. How can we rethink it? Time is one of the greatest casualties of cult involvement and high-control...

Helping someone in a coercive relationship starts with choosing a new path yourself. When someone we love is caught in a manipulative or...

Adolescence and young adulthood are times of transformation, identity exploration, and rebellion. In Radical Departures: Desperate...

When we talk about abuse and control, terms like psychological manipulation (PM) and coercive control (CC) come up often. But what do...